nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
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