dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
