I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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