I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
