I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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