I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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