Taylor Swift is so right about you.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
