As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
