If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
