We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
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