Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Im part way to drunk.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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