I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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