More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
