That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
