I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
