im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
