i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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