remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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