I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
