Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
