That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
