I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Randomize
