did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
oh god the rape fog is back!
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
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