That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
