I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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