I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
