he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
