My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
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