I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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