Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
what day is it and did you see me today?
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
