I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
