Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize
