I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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