I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
