Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I lost the right to judge tonight
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
