Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
