Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
