so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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