Do you still have your period?
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
