Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
my mouth tastes like poor choices
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Randomize
