Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
