i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
