i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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