So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
