Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
