pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
