if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
