Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize