At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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