i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I just had sex on a roof
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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